Sunday, 3 January 2016

I Wanted To Write

I wanted to write today. No particular reason, but I just had this sudden urge, an overbearing impulse, to pour from my heart and unload the thoughts from my mind that buzz inside of me 24/7. 

I guess you could say I'm feeling all sentimental and emotional because it's a new year and that. 

As I write this I'm sitting on my sofa wearing my tatty leggings and slouchy cotton jumper surrounded by family. My Nan and Grandad have recently moved next door to be closer and it's such a comforting and happy feeling to know that they are happier and safer.

A few overriding feelings from this year would be developing friendships I would never have imagined and feeling feelings I didn't think could be felt. Wow that was so cheesy. My friends say I need to be checked into rehab but I just call it swimming to new depths in life hahahaha. It's good to be deep right? As long as you keep your head above the water, and that's what 2016 is all about, trying to gain a new calm and composed outlook on life. If there's one thing that I've gained from 2015 it's that you really can't let other people get in the way of your own happiness. What I mean by that is that it's good to care about others and I really believe in always being kind, but you have to remember to be kind to yourself too. That starts with removing negativity and feeling comfortable to just do whatever feels right and not worrying about what others think about you. I think there's nothing worse then letting other people plant opinions inside of your head that you don't agree with, and one thing I need to work on is remembering to not let those things get to me. I don't believe in conflict or arguing back, it's just not my thing. I always feel so guilty at the smallest of things and I never want to inflict sadness on people so I prefer to just not even enter the danger territory of conflict atall. What I do need to start practicing though is remembering to not let the annoying, painful, infuriating moments get to me. I need to remember to just breathe and smile. That's probably so difficult as you can't just turn emotions off, I don't think that's necessarily right either, but I'm just going to try and establish a more steady, breezy approach to life. That's all 2015 has been so far, just faking it till I make it and I hope in 2016 I'll be one step closer to making it.